
You Know You’re From Conrad, Montana When
- You wish you were on Tiber water because the water in Conrad kind of sucks
- You rotate days you eat out due to restaurants being closed on certain days or certain times
- You go to Great Falls once a month and never stop to see anyone you know because you have errands to run, and really, you're tired of hearing about it.
- You talk about when Main Drive Inn will be open for the summer, and you remember when it was the Tastee Freeze
- You've gotten into an argument over which pizza is better, Coaches Corner or Howard's Pizza. Everyone knows it's Coaches
- Pizza Burgers or Keggers from the Keg are enough to make the drive to Conrad
- Only one place in town delivers, and they're only open for dinner
- Bowling and/or Pool is life
- You never have to tell the bartender what you want. They grab it as soon as you walk in
- The Buckaroos
- You have a charge account almost everywhere in town
- Everything at Home Cafe, especially Turkey Dinner Day (for me it's the big salads and that roll)
- Whoop-Up is the drunkiest weekend of the year
- Tons of people you know had their wedding reception at the Country Club
- The rest of the people you know had their wedding reception at the Moose
- Nothing really goes on the 4th of July because everyone's in Choteau or camping
- You know how to get to the rodeo grounds like the back of your hand
- You can call the police for a ride home if you're drunk and they'll do it and be nice about it the whole time
- You know exactly where Betty's Diner used to be
- The 4 miler
- You know, at least, 2 people that used to work for Arnot's
- You were served at the Rope for the first time at Whoop-Up, when you were 17
- You know Wylie Gustafson's Place. And if you wrote this article, his buffalo made you late for work one day.
- Sometimes you eat lunch at the co-op
- Sandy Beach
- You still talk about how much you miss the Ancient Mariner
- You can tell your family story with the dings in the walls and ceiling at the bowling alley in the Branding Iron
- You know a Conrad from the "Conrad Conrads"
- Cruising main on weekends, or in really cool cars, right after you got married
- The fish slide at Meadowlark
- You used to go to that little convenience store to "buy cigarettes for your parents" and nobody ever questioned it. Ever.
- The Million Dollar F##k Up
- A lot of your friends married the person they dated in high school, and they're still married
- You know where the drive in theatre was
- The curfew whistle
- Nothing is open on Sunday except the IGA, Town Pump, the co-op and the bars
- The soda fountain at Olson's Drug
- Senior pranks, when the Seniors ride their horses to school

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Conrad, Montana
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