Bride-to-Be Slams ‘Bad Friend’ for Turning Down Maid of Honor Offer
When choosing a maid of honor, the bride-to-be typically turns to someone in their life who is most important to them. In turn, the maid of honor has the distinct responsibility of helping the bride with ensuring the ceremony runs smoothly, which requires a lot of commitment.
One woman took to Reddit explaining her best friend became outraged after she declined her offer to be her maid of honor due to her not having the "time or energy to commit" to the role.
She noted her friend became so angry that she now doesn't want the woman to attend the wedding even as a guest.
"I work full time and am the sole caregiver for my husband. He is able to do a lot for himself but there’s also still a lot that falls on me and because of this I’m constantly exhausted and trying to find time and energy to do everything I need to do," she wrote via Reddit.
"A friend of mine is getting married and asked me to be the maid of honor. I was touched that she asked but told her that while I was thankful for the offer, I couldn’t accept it. I let her know I was still willing to be a bridesmaid or just a guest if she preferred that but that I couldn’t take on the responsibility of being the maid of honor at this time," the woman continued.
When she turned down the role, her friend became furious.
"She blew up at me and said I’m being selfish and a bad friend. She also said that 'everyone' thinks I’ve been extremely selfish this past year because I don’t hang out with them as much as I used to," she explained. "I gave up on arguing with her and just repeated that I don’t have the time or energy to commit to being maid of honor, she then told me I didn’t need to bother finding the time or energy to even come to the wedding at all."
The woman's friend group is split about the issue, with some understanding, while others think she should make more of an effort.
"Now the entire friend group is split, with some taking her side and saying I’m wrong for not making an effort and others taking my side saying she needs to recognize my other responsibilities," she detailed. "The replacement maid of honor has four kids under the age of six, and the bride and those that agree with her are just using that as more proof that I’m being selfish."
The matter has caused "problems with the whole group" and has changed how "everyone feels about the wedding."
The bride-to-be apparently told the woman she could "fix" everything by just agreeing to be a "co-maid of honor," but the woman still feels like it's "too much" responsibility.
On Reddit, users rallied behind the woman, letting her know that she isn't in the wrong for declining the offer.
"No one is entitled to your time and attention. If she feels this way then perhaps she should spend a day in your shoes, or better, a week, being sole caretaker for your husband on top of your other responsibilities," one person commented.
"Don’t go to the wedding, this woman is not your friend. MOH is a huge responsibility, even being a bridesmaid is, that’s why the bride ASKS, because there is always a possibility that the possible MOH/bridesmaid will say no. You’re not obligated to take part in anyone’s wedding no matter how close you are to them," another weighed in.